Dear GOD

I was in front of my computer.  Thinking, reading blogs, praying; trying to understand my path.

I know. I was listening.

Selfishness creeps in.  Self doubt is knocking on the door of my heart. Why does our human side have to come out so ugly.  Dying to flesh is a process.

I know.  Its ok.  You are my child.  I created you.

I know that being uncomfortable is sometimes a good thing.  A chance for us to grow closer to you,  closer to being more Christ centered.  Sometimes, I don't want to be uncomfortable.  I don't like to NOT know the ending.  I want my plan to be laid out.  Just tell me Lord what your plan for me is.  I will follow.

You have to be equipped.  I am equipping you.  Patience my child, I've got this.

Lord, why do some people get the big gigs?  I want to move mountains for you.  I want to change the world and tell everybody about you!

You are my child.  Be in the moment I have given you.  Allow me to guide you.

I am weak, Lord.

My child, I am strong.

I cry, and crumble into a million pieces.

I will make you whole.

I am ready to be all in!  All for you! Use me...

I have already used you.  I will continue to use you.  I made you.  I know your inner parts.  Have faith my child.

Faith...

Faith...

You've got this?!

I've always had it!!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Yup! This totally happened!

This is a post to help you feel better about your parenting...

So, my husband was out of town last week.  When he is out of town I let the boys take turns sleeping in bed with me.  I had tucked Carter into my bed, got Walker into his bed and proceeded to check on Tyler. 

That's when I heard a POP! 
Walker came running out of his room with a terrified look on his face.  "What happened?" "What did you do?"

He's response was that the penny went POP!  Ummm...OK!  
That's when I knew something wasn't right.  When they admit to a little bit of the crime, it usually means they did something pretty crazy.

Walker decided that it was a good idea to pull his night light out of the socket just a little bit, THEN DROP A PENNY DOWN ON THE PRONGS!!!

Seriously!!!  How was this even a good idea.  How does one think to do something like this?
So I screamed.  I mean what else was I supposed to do, there were BURN marks on the outlet!!

So that freaked out the other two kids.  Then, I remember that I am the only adult in the house, so I need to get it together.  Breath...

All three boys ran and got under the covers in my bed.  I go to look at the fuse box.  I have no idea what to look for, but I have seen my husband open it up.  So that's what I did.  The fuse was actually switched to off, so I put it back on. 

When I made my way back up the stairs the lights in the whole house flicked.  That scared everybody all over again, even me!! 

Sooooo.... 
Tyler and Walker slept on the floor in my room, Carter was in my bed, and,  I woke up every hour and sniffed the air to make sure their was no smoke.

WHEW! I was so glad to have my Hubs back home!

The Time I....

This past weekend I did something radical.  I did something that made me uncomfortable, even anxious. 

I gave up social media for the ENTIRE weekend.  No Facebook, no Instagram, not even Pinterest could be found.  

And you know what the crazy part is?  I survived!!  I didn't break out in hives, or cause my head to spin uncontrollably.  I merely just lived my life...

I did not have to check on who was at what movie, or whose toenail fell off, or whose kid got the stomach bug.  I lived. I breathed.  I ate.  I went about my normal day.
  
It was freeing.  I felt empowered by my own life.  My own circumstances engulfed me.  I am not saying that I was on FB all of the time, but anytime I had a down minute, I would check it out.  Instagram, I probably looked at more often.  Don't lie, you do it too.

 Some of us even have "friends" on social media that we have never actually had a real conversation with.  We are engulfed in their pictures and their comments and the life they allow us to see.  We forget to look at our  own life and the greatness that we have.  We don't have to post a really cool picture about it, or comment that #wearehavingsomuchfun. 

I will admit there were times this weekend that I caught myself trying to click the app.  I even got on Pinterest, until my husband pointed out that, that too is social media.  

So what did I do instead? We built forts, watched movies, rode bikes, went to a play.  And no one had to know.  I didn't post #chillinwithmyhomies, or #threesillyboys. We had actual  conversations with each other.  It was great!

Don't get me wrong, I do not think that social media is bad.  Afterall I do have this little blog.  I do think that it can interfere with our own personal lives.  I just felt it was time for me to take a step back for a little while.  We used to be media free (TV included) twice a week.  It is a good check.  A time to reflect and be with the people you are with. (As I write this, I think it might be a good idea for my family to do again. p.s. don't tell the boys, they take it kind of hard).

So Lent is starting tomorrow.  And I have decided that part of my Lent experience is giving up social media every weekend.  Who knows, it may lead to more than just the weekend.  

Its time to get reconnected with our families and not the ones on our screens.  Why don't you join me?
#analogweekend 
I would love to hear from you.