Thursday, June 26, 2014

Dear friendly motorist

Dear Motorist,
I just wanted you to know that I am sorry I didn't let you cut in front of me.  It would have been the nice Christian thing to do.  You see, I had a car full of boy!

Mr. Motorist I just endured a trip to the Walmart with my three boys.  It was in the Walmart that I had to keep myself under control. I mean, after all, it is a respectable place of business.  While in the Walmart I had several people give me looks that could only mean I was doing a GREAT job at being a parent.  You know, the unwanted glares of judgment from random strangers. 

 I had a few polite people that told me I had my hands full.  Yes, polite citizen, I do have my hands full, do you have an extra arm or two you would be willing to share?

One women told me that it will go really fast.  Well, that may be true.  I will look back at the precious sweet times and think, wow, they grow up fast.  But, I am pretty sure that I will not look back fondly on the screaming tantrum moments in the Walmart.  Just Saying!

 Another random women actually reached into my buggy and tickled my child.  Not sure why she thought that was a good idea, I mean she totally freaked little man out.  All I could do was laugh nervously and push the buggy in the opposite direction. 

To keep my boys occupied I gave them cowboy hats to play with while looking through the t shirts.  The boys knew I was not going to buy them.  But, thanks to an average Walmart shopper who politely said, "wow, you have to buy that for them.  They look great!" Ummm, no, I don't have to buy it.  They are $15.00 a piece!  Do the math.  Do you want to pitch in?

Mr. Motorist, I did not get everything on my list.  I ended up buying random stuff that we will never need.  For example, three American flags.  Two of which broke while still in the Walmart.

So, Mr. Motorist, by the time I saw you, I was DONE.  One boy was playing air guitar very loudly, another boy was playing drums on the dash board, and the third was singing 'LALALALA', over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.  When I saw you wanted to pull in front of me I was fearful.  Fearful that I might not make it through the green light.  If I didn't make it through the light, then I would have definitely lost all remaining sanity.  All I wanted to do was get home as quickly at possible.

So, to sum this up I should never go to the Walmart! It only causes trauma, and traffic violations. 

the crazy lady in the minivan

(p.s. It has been a long summer day!)

Friday, June 20, 2014

I am pursuing my husband

This week has been pretty awesome!  My husband and I have been dating.  Yes, with each other!
Our three boys are off at Camp Grandmaw and Grandpaw for the entire week.  They are living it up pretty big.  Candy, cookies, bike riding, water tubing, fishing, swimming having a big ole time!

So, that has left Andy and I in a pretty unusual spot.  We are HOME ALONE!  The first day was pretty weird.  The house was way too quiet, and way too clean, but then we got over it! 

This week we decided that we would have fun, do things we wouldn't normally do, embrace each other and have silly fun again.  

We were actually able to talk and finish a conversation!  We went to supper and a movie, we ate lunch together most days, we had a water gun fight.  We became friends again.  We were not just defined by our kids and being parents, but we got to be a couple completely into each other.  We held hands and kissed at supper, he noticed what I was wearing and called me pretty.  

I learned things about my husband.  I also learned things about myself.  I was more relaxed, more in tune with my husband and my feelings.  I was open to him and what he was feeling.  We were able to do what married folks do, and just be together.  I was able to think about my husband throughout the day, with kids I don't have a chance to think.  I thought about how much I love him, and how I could be a better wife to him, and what I could do for him.  It was really amazing when I realized how often I don't think about him.  The kids consume so much of my time and attention that I easily forget about my love.  All of the mommas out there know exactly how I feel.  We get bogged down with daily life that we are only in survival mode, not living mode.

This week my husband and I LIVED!  We lived for each other.  We lived with each other.  We LIVED!

I am excited that our week is not over yet.  Today we are going white water rafting, ziplining and finishing it off with food truck Friday! We have decided that even when our kids are out of the house we will still be the cool parents, who date each other. 

(Saturday we will be married 11 years!! Woo Who!! Go us!!)

"However, let each one of you love your wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband"
Ephesians 5:33

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Running the Race

I have to confess... I have been uninspired, preoccupied, not feeling it lately.  I haven't been able to find my words or make time to write and blog.  I think it has taken me a few months to wrap my mind around on what I have been thinking.  I have figured out that I have been missing some really important fuel in my life.  I have not been feeding myself, so how in the world was I supposed to pour out in my blog?

I had tried several times to sit down and try to write.  I wanted to write something profound, trying so hard to impress, trying to move readers hearts.  And the truth of the matter is, that I was doing just that, trying too hard.  I put way too much pressure on myself, and therefore I froze when I sat down to write.  I was empty.  I didn't even know where to start.

Then it dawned on me.  I had ALREADY started.  God was already using me.  He already had me running His race.  I was the one who chose not to trust, and continue on His path.    This has been a process for me.  A journey of learning about myself and learning where God has me.  The biggest thing I have learned is simply knowing and embracing where God has me right now, right in this moment.
There are a few things that I have learned about myself in this process.  

1) I need to be in God's word EVERYDAY!  I will admit that I struggle with this.  I might do really well for a while, and then out of nowhere life happens and BAM, I not reading daily.

2) I need to listen and trust my husband in my life.  He is the spiritual leader after all.  Now before you go all crazy on me, let me explain, I'm kind of all over the place.   I have ALOT of cray cray ideas.  "Let's move to Costa Rico and be missionaries; Lets adopt; Lets home school; I'm going to Africa; I'm not going to Africa; Wait, I wanna go to Africa again; I wanna open a nonprofit; I wanna help people".  I'm exhausted just writing it.   My husband is amazing!! I need to listen to him and value what he sees in my life.  After all, there has to be some calm to my chaos.

3) I need community.  I mean good, Godly women pouring into me and me into them.  Being in constant communication with women I trust.  Women who are walking with the Lord.  Women who are not judging me and my craziness, but are praying over me and helping me along the way.  Women that I can text at any moment and ask for prayer, or just recognize that I need prayer.  Women that will hold me accountable and ring me back in.

I am fixing my eyes upon the Lord!  I am reminded of a quote by Margaret Shepard, "Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith".  It's so true!  We have to be reminded of this because our life is constantly changing and moving.  As long as we keep our eyes fixed upon the Lord, we will preserve.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."
Hebrews 12:1-2

"Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart"
Hebrew 12:3