Y'all...It has been a long time since I have
blogged. I admit it. It's not because I have been lazy, or too busy
(because I can always make time). It’s not because of not having anything
to say, (if you know me, then you know I always have something to say). It's
because I cannot get my feelings out. I cannot figure out what has been
bothering me. Until now....
Christmas.
I have been reflecting on where my heart was over
the season. Or where my heart
wasn’t. I feel that I have cheated on
Christmas. I cheated, fell short, and
didn’t live up to Christmas. Sure, I
participated. I went to Christmas
parties, baked goodies, gave back…But I still feel like something was lacking.
The lacking part was not the new clothes, or the I
pad. We did not lack in an abundance of
presents. The boys got way more than
they could have ever wanted. The
presents, the wrapping, the boxes the bows, all of it. All of it is
disposable. All of the pretty is now in a trash heap, buried under the
dirt. My boys have already broken a handful of toys. Disposable.
Trashed.
That’s where I am left. Feeling like I have been dumped in the trash.
Trash. Yup! That’s right. Did I truly celebrate the season in the way
that God would have wanted? I prayed, I worshiped, I did good for
others, I celebrated the Birth. But yet, I still feel left with a need
for a do over.
Aren’t we always trying to do more? Or at least feeling like we should. We could never do enough for God, and we don't have to. If you truly think about it, God’s grace for
us is way more than we could ever earn.
That is a true blessing. We CAN’T do enough. EVER. Jesus
did all that we need. We don’t deserve
it, but we get it anyway. We can never fill the
chasm because it is way too big. Jesus is the only bridge of the
gap. He is the only one! We don't have to fill it...
We have Grace, Grace that rains down and
refreshes us. It has refreshed me over the last few weeks as I have been
figuring out my emotions.
Thank you Jesus for your Grace. We do not
deserve such love.
So what does all this mean? Well, it means that I want to continue
to bring God's love to all. I want to
continue to celebrate HIM. Everyday is
a gift from him and we should open each day as if we are opening a precious
Christmas gift.
Which way are you going to open your day? Carefully peeling back the wrapping so
tenderly as to not tear the paper. OR,
excitedly ripping the paper and tearing into the gift. Live in complete abandonment to Jesus. Allowing Him to guide you through your
day. That is the most precious gift of
the season that we get to be with Jesus on a daily basis!
Enjoy the Christmas season throughout the year. I am going to stop yearning for a do over and
simple pray for a “do now”!
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